Perspective.

I have learned a lot about myself over the past several months. 

I have conquered some of my inner demons, and I have suffered some of the most devastating letdowns in my life to this point. I have begun to learn how to overcome some self-esteem problems that were getting to the point of being internally debilitating, and I am struggling to resolve some other issues in my life that seem impossible.

Throughout all of this, I have become even better at self-analysis.

Which is great.

Except sometimes, my emotions completely overwhelm me. I am aware of those emotions, and I could explain them to you in detail.

However, explaining my emotions to you doesn't seem to get me anywhere. Because, even though my counselor tells me that, "Emotions will always trump logical thought," I know that doesn't mean it's intelligent to let feelings control my life.

I'm going to let you in on something.

Sometimes, I'm not a happily married person. I am married to one of the gentlest, kindest, most loving men on the planet, and he is good to me. But marriage is hard work a lot of the time, and I'm human, and selfish, and stupid sometimes. 

There are days (especially when I feel entirely overwhelmed and hopeless) that I get angry at God for letting me be frustrated with my marriage. These days are horrible, and I don't like the feeling that my life isn't the way I want it to be. It's mostly irrational and silly, but emotions seriously do overpower me at times.

This brings me to the point of this post - perspective.

I heard something on Sunday at All School Praise & Worship (a Welcome Week event at Trevecca) about a guy that spent the past summer in Bulgaria. At one point, he mentioned something about sex trafficking. He said that there are girls at 14 who have been sold to men as sex slaves and forced to marry them.

You know what God whispered in my ear, right then?

"how fortunate you are to have had the choice to marry whomever and whenever you pleased. how blessed you are to be in a relationship that is both consensual and fulfilling, with a man who desperately cares for you, and would never take advantage of you as a person or treat you like an object."

Whoa.

In an instant, my complaints suddenly seemed childish and immensely selfish.

Does it really matter that I am not happy every day, 100% of the time?

Does it really matter that I am restricted from certain selfish actions based on what my faith says is right and wrong?

Does it really matter that my selfish needs are so insurmountably absurd that they can never be fully met...

...when across the world, there are women - 

who will never know what true love feels like.

who will never know the gentle touch of a husband who wants nothing but to be everything she needs.

who will spend their entire lives unable to make even one personal decision.

who will be objectified, abused, raped, molested, disfigured, and even killed, for no other reason, than that they are female.

Thus: perspective.

Are there selfish motives in your life that could be remedied with a bit of the right perspective?