Covenant and Contract.

Let us begin by comparing the difference between these words. (These are definitions from dictionary.com and also my own brain)

Contract (n) def:

1. An agreement between two or more parties for the doing or not doing of something specified.

2. An agreement enforceable by law.

3. The written form of such an agreement.

Covenant (n) def:

1. A binding commitment between two or more parties that extends beyond the reach of legality into the attitude of the human heart.

2. Promises made between God and man that are meant never to be broken.

A very wise man made a very profound statement to me recently:

"You see your calling as a covenant with God - you enter into it with the distinct intention of completing the work He has set out for you until such a time as He leads you elsewhere. Church members, however, often see your ministry as a contract - an agreement to do certain duties."

And in an instant, I suddenly began to move on.

I wanted to stay angry. I wanted to cry and scream and complain until my eyes dried out and my throat was raw. I wanted to shake someone and yell at them that they shattered my dreams - dreams that I have already lost once.

However, no one is out to get me. No one purposefully hurt me.

Yes, I still feel pain over having a dream wrenched out of my hands. Yes, I wish the church's polity required that Biblical principles of conflict resolution be followed before dismissing a member of staff. 

But how can I expect people to understand the immense passion and connection I have with the ministry God has called me to if they don't look at it the same way?

A church member (usually, if however unfortunately) sees the "job" of a pastor/staff member much like any other job. Although they normally expect a higher level of moral integrity (which is totally reasonable), they expect a pastor to complete tasks and receive compensation for completion of those tasks. It's not exactly that simple, but it's close.

A pastor, however, understands each position he/she holds to be a covenantal agreement with God - it goes leagues beyond a contractual agreement. A pastor understands him/herself to be responsible for not only completing tasks, but being conscious and obedient to the leading of the Holy Spirit as he/she faces challenges and battles that might define the outcome of someone's spiritual life.

In short, my covenant with God to lead His people in worship defines me and is how I find purpose.

Now, I am beginning to heal instead of just coping... because it is not a contractual job that gives me purpose. It is the covenant that still exists between me and God. And no amount of "failure" in the practics of fulfilling that covenant can change the fact that I made Him a promise - a promise I intend to keep.