Sectumsempra.

I saw the preview today for the final Harry Potter flick.

Oh. My. Word. I am so excited I could barely make it through the trailer without squealing.

I noticed something about Harry Potter a few days ago. I'm listening through the audiobooks before watching the last movie, just to get myself totally caught up.

(The following is a brief story from HP. If you don't like or want to read it, you can skip down to the point.)

In the fifth book, Harry sees a memory of Professor Snape's that recounts a time in which Harry's father picked on Snape for no reason, resulting in a row between Snape and James Potter. During this confrontation, Snape uses a spell on James (we're not given the name of it) that causes a gash to appear on his cheek. This curse, "Sectumsempra," appears in the next book, although if you weren't paying very close attention to the story I just mentioned, you wouldn't realize it was the same spell. Actually, if you caught it the first time, you would know that Professor Snape is, in fact, the Half-Blood Prince, a piece of information that's actually rather important.

J.K. Rowling uses a ton of these type of situations, foreshadowing, very sneakily, storylines yet to come. However, if you aren't extremely observant or don't remember seemingly insignificant details, you wouldn't see connections in the story until reading the books again (and maybe again and again, like I have).

(Here is the point:)

I use this random anecdote to illustrate a point: when we are flitting about our daily lives, doing those things we need to do and make time for, we don't see little things. We (or at least I) don't know the effect particular relationships truly have on us, or the utter dependence we have on places, or people, or things. It's easy to miss these things because we don't have the full story. The same may also be said for situations we don't understand. In my own life, I am referring to my unexpectedly short term as a worship pastor at my former church.

I have said more than once recently that I am tired of hearing statements (that I know are meant to help lift me up) like, "God didn't want you there," or, "This just means there was a better place for you to be," or, "God has a bigger plan." None of these statements is inherently incorrect, or negative in nature. They are meant to remind me that this is not "the end." I understand the purpose. But hearing this same thing over and over is eventually more frustrating than helpful.

Maybe that's only because I don't know the whole story.

Maybe in 10 years I will look back on this time and smile, realizing how it directed the rest of my life at this time.

Maybe I'll never know why.

However, I think it is more likely, seeing as how God often seems to work, that He is using little things I can't see to write my story, even though I don't know why or how yet.

Maybe the reason I feel so frustrated hearing these encouraging statements over and over is because I'm afraid of what else God might ask me to do in the future. If this experience, difficult and demanding and intimidating as it was, wasn't "it," what else could possibly be in store?

You are peace, You are peace
When my fear is crippling
You are true, You are true
Even in my wandering

You are here, You are here
In Your presence I'm made whole
You are God, You are God
Of all else I'm letting go