Perspective.

I have learned a lot about myself over the past several months. 

I have conquered some of my inner demons, and I have suffered some of the most devastating letdowns in my life to this point. I have begun to learn how to overcome some self-esteem problems that were getting to the point of being internally debilitating, and I am struggling to resolve some other issues in my life that seem impossible.

Throughout all of this, I have become even better at self-analysis.

Which is great.

Except sometimes, my emotions completely overwhelm me. I am aware of those emotions, and I could explain them to you in detail.

However, explaining my emotions to you doesn't seem to get me anywhere. Because, even though my counselor tells me that, "Emotions will always trump logical thought," I know that doesn't mean it's intelligent to let feelings control my life.

I'm going to let you in on something.

Sometimes, I'm not a happily married person. I am married to one of the gentlest, kindest, most loving men on the planet, and he is good to me. But marriage is hard work a lot of the time, and I'm human, and selfish, and stupid sometimes. 

There are days (especially when I feel entirely overwhelmed and hopeless) that I get angry at God for letting me be frustrated with my marriage. These days are horrible, and I don't like the feeling that my life isn't the way I want it to be. It's mostly irrational and silly, but emotions seriously do overpower me at times.

This brings me to the point of this post - perspective.

I heard something on Sunday at All School Praise & Worship (a Welcome Week event at Trevecca) about a guy that spent the past summer in Bulgaria. At one point, he mentioned something about sex trafficking. He said that there are girls at 14 who have been sold to men as sex slaves and forced to marry them.

You know what God whispered in my ear, right then?

"how fortunate you are to have had the choice to marry whomever and whenever you pleased. how blessed you are to be in a relationship that is both consensual and fulfilling, with a man who desperately cares for you, and would never take advantage of you as a person or treat you like an object."

Whoa.

In an instant, my complaints suddenly seemed childish and immensely selfish.

Does it really matter that I am not happy every day, 100% of the time?

Does it really matter that I am restricted from certain selfish actions based on what my faith says is right and wrong?

Does it really matter that my selfish needs are so insurmountably absurd that they can never be fully met...

...when across the world, there are women - 

who will never know what true love feels like.

who will never know the gentle touch of a husband who wants nothing but to be everything she needs.

who will spend their entire lives unable to make even one personal decision.

who will be objectified, abused, raped, molested, disfigured, and even killed, for no other reason, than that they are female.

Thus: perspective.

Are there selfish motives in your life that could be remedied with a bit of the right perspective?

Homosexuality. Go.

Step 1: Watch this video. (do your best to ignore the little pieces of commentary posted on the video, so that you can form your own opinions)

Step 2: Tell me what you think about it. Is it truth, is it hate, is it dumb, is it smart?

Oh no... she's up.

"Indeed, all who want to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted."
- 2 Timothy 3:12

I have grown a lot over the last month. Through the help of some awesome friends, a school counselor, a committed husband, and quite a few intense worship services, I feel like I'm healing from the pain of... well... a lot of things I've been holding onto.

Amen.

I want to be the kind of woman that wakes up in the morning and the devil says, "Oh no, she's up."

[I love that saying.]

But seriously. I decided recently that it was all or nothing, in or out, Heaven or bust, if you will. You see, the only way to be really fulfilled by a life with Christ is to give yourself over to Him completely. Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to happen that often. I know a lot of people (myself, included, at different points in my life) that call themselves "Christians" but don't act like Christ in, well, pretty much any way.

I know a lot of people who care more about the way someone on a church platform is dressed than by how much they love Jesus.

I know a lot of people who feel awkward if you bring Jesus up in an average conversation that doesn't take place at church.

I know a lot of people who think the way to be a follower of Christ is to follow all of the "do not's," like do not drink, do not smoke, do not have sex outside of marriage, do not swear, do not lie, do not steal, do not cheat, (and the list goes on).

All of those things are good things - they're Biblical rules for how we really should not conduct ourselves in life.

But what about all of the DO's?

We leave those poor little do's out quite a bit.

For example: 

"Proclaim the message; be persistent whether the time is favorable or unfavorable; convince, rebuke, and encourage, with the utmost patience in teaching." - 2 Timothy 4:2

"[May] supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for everyone, for kings and all who are in high positions..." - 1 Timothy 2:1-2a

"Putting away falsehood, let all of us speak the truth to our neighbors, for we are members of one another. Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger... Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear...be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you. Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children, and live in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." - Ephesians 4:24-5:2 (sections)

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right." - Ephesians 6:1

"Render service with enthusiasm, as to the Lord and not to men and women." - Ephesians 6:7

"Be of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves. Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others. Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 2:1-5

I could find many more verses like these, but you get the point, I'm sure.

Now, before you stop reading because you think I'm Jesus juking you (please click here if you don't know what a Jesus juke is), please understand that I have no problem having average conversations that don't mention Jesus. I also want to have fun and laugh and sometimes just be a goofball - I'm not advocating that we spend 100% of our lives being overly serious and contemplative.

However, I feel like we have a problem in mainstream Christianity, and that problem is that we've convinced ourselves that life filled with Christ is the same as life without Him, except that we follow some don't rules and go to church on Sunday.

But it is SO much more awesome than that.

[side note]

It took me (and it is still taking me) a long time, and a grueling process of constant surrender to even begin to understand or truly believe what I'm about to say. It's a daily thing, and it's not easy. This is as much for me as it is for anyone else.

[end side note]

Life with Christ is about living each day as a selfless, loving person, intent on proclaiming the message of Jesus in every situation. It's about being so in love with your Saviour that it doesn't matter what people say about you anymore, because all things are but loss for the sake of knowing Him. It's about having freedom from the chains of sin, self-doubt, lust, anger, selfishness, self-pity, materialism, fear, and pain and living in the knowledge that you are a beloved child of the Most High King.

I'm just sayin'... that sounds pretty sweet to me.

So what happened? When did it become normal to feel awkward when people bring up real, deep, faith issues if it's outside of a small group or church context? Why is it okay to hold onto anger, gossip, and slothfulness instead of living in the freedom that Christ offers?

When did we decide it was too much of a sacrifice to be persecuted for the sake of the cross that we decided to conduct our lives in a way that garners us the least amount of ridicule?

And how can we change that?